matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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