We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
