He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
