I love black thongs
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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