I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
