help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
