i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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