Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
