Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
