i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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