Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
