my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize