o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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