As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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