It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?