Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.

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  (630): Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun. http://tfl.nu/krwt
  Replies (8) Good night (825) Bad night (2178)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"

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  (315): I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry" http://tfl.nu/cwet
  Replies (39) Good night (7941) Bad night (744)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.

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  (540): I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking. http://tfl.nu/rroe
  Replies (25) Good night (2594) Bad night (4840)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???

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  (702): did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant??? http://tfl.nu/mp1l
  Replies (53) Good night (8289) Bad night (2478)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number

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  (617): i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number http://tfl.nu/mfjx
  Replies (14) Good night (7085) Bad night (1081)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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  (402): Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then. http://tfl.nu/941i
  Replies (24) Good night (5169) Bad night (1246)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?

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  (708): Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason? http://tfl.nu/eo4z
  Replies (3) Good night (2820) Bad night (886)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.

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  (864): Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night. http://tfl.nu/lqaz
  Replies (6) Good night (1404) Bad night (1666)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.

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  (757): Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today. http://tfl.nu/c0a7
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (1743)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire

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  (240): Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire http://tfl.nu/bhj4
  Replies (1) Good night (1057) Bad night (606)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "

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  (317): I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time " http://tfl.nu/0ln5
  Replies (4) Good night (1028) Bad night (501)
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  (707): View more from California

  People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.

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  (707): People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex. http://tfl.nu/ihmc
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (402)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going

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  (757): Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going http://tfl.nu/lq75
  Replies (0) Good night (272) Bad night (634)
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  (818): View more from California

  Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.

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  (818): Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong. http://tfl.nu/thbe
  Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (214)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.

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  (814): Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar. http://tfl.nu/9r7x
  Replies (0) Good night (126) Bad night (88)

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