She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me