"it" just moved
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
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Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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