rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize