My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
