i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
