Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
