goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
