so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
