it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize