3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize