I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
