She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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