Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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