I like my sex mixed with concussions.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
