i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize