Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
