i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
