Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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