Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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