On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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