im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
