Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
