She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
