wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm both gender and math confused
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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