I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
