just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
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Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
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I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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