she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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