don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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