I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize