we're chasing vodka with high fives
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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