I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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