if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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