you turned your livingroom into a bong?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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