Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
