So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
