The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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