Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
