Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night