her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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