yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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