What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
