The maid of honor just puked.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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