sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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