I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
