Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
