How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
