U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
