Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
