So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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