He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
