I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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