apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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